Over the past year and a half I have taken a long break from Noctiluna, teaching, and making Art.
'Break' doesn't sound quite right. In my mind there has been no break. I am constantly coming up with ideas, and making plans about work I want to complete. I have a notebook that I scribble in all the time with ideas for children's books. I hear about things that friends and former colleagues are working on, and fantasize about similar projects brewing in my head. No, mentally I have definitely not taken a break.
The decision to stop working was not made consciously by me. Before my son was born I thought "This will be great - I can spend time with the kids, and work from home, my work hours will be more flexible and things will work out better all around".
But I don't think that working in that way was possible for me. When I start working on a project, a part of my brain is always immersed in that project. I think that to an extent, Art can be a selfish profession, where people can live in their own heads very much. Introspection and a constant dialogue running through your head, can be a difficult thing to handle with two kids holding onto your legs asking endless questions.
Recently, I watched a film about the poet, Sylvia Plath. During scenes where she sat at her desk furiously scribbling out pages of poetry for hours, I kept thinking "where are her kids? What are they doing?"
That's the thing. The "where are my kids? what are they doing" part of my brain has asserted itself to such a great extent, that I have not been able to focus the way I used to on my work.
So, I put the Artist part of me on the back burner, just for a while. Professionally, I have been working here and there, no huge projects have happened over the past year. The business has been static. Teaching has not been physically possible with a baby to take care of, but I am sure that I will get back to it, it is my calling, another great passion.
Then something happened. The little one started daycare. Both of the kids are at school for a set number of hours every day. I have time to work again. Yes, my work day is still dotted with chores related to home life, and my hours are greatly shortened. Yes, one of them always falls sick every other week (it is a conspiracy). But this is it!
I have officially started to 'work' again (I have included the quotation marks, so as not to offend all the stay-at-home moms out there, who work harder than most of us, without getting paid).
I have been writing and illustrating a story book for children, which will help them learn about composition, and how to tell stories using shapes, marks and patterns. Visual education. Confusing? I hope it won't be. I still have not started looking for a publisher.
I feel like a child with a new toy, so many new possibilities. Writing a blog regularly will, I hope, help to keep me on track. Watch this space for updates!
